octopenis:

An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.

thelocalpaedo:

my favourite thing is when you’re kissing and you slowly move down to their neck, then you slowly bite down and rip off their head and dance in their blood

(Source: everytimeidiabetes)

spoken-not-written:

themockingjayd12:

Merry Unbirthday, to you all!

Happy Unbirthday dear Tumblr nation

airoehead:

yifflord:

would you rather date a person in their “RAWR :3 XD LOLOLOL TROLLED!!! .3.” phase or drop raw onions in your eyes

adamchanler:

lady-tyrell:

the funniest part of macbeth is when the soldiers all cut a branch off a tree to hold in front of them while they march toward’s macbeth’s castle in hopes that he will somehow think they are all trees and not an army

the second best part is that it actually works